- I haven’t been the sad lonely single female traveler. Yes, I’ve had friends! I do have friends! I promise!
What this means is that I don’t have to save up all my, ahem, witty observations throughout the day and then unleash them onto the keyboard at night, Instead, I get to unleash them immediately on my poor travel companions. Who get to try and respond to statements like, “if Amsterdam was a song, it would totally be Amsterdam by Coldplay”.
Be thankful for that extra filter the act of writing provides, gentle readers. Be very bloody thankful.
- I was initially traveling in Western Europe. I have run out of things to say about Western Europe. This is not Western Europe’s fault. It more reflects my limitations as a writer.
Just to seem slightly less like a total Philistine: I really like Western Europe. Stone Churches? Gorgeous! Old Masters’ Masterpieces? Masterful! Turkish food outlets? Delicious!
I just don’t have that much more to say on any of these topics. Except for kebabs. Mmm, kebab.
- Other people have said fascinating and insightful things about Europe, and I don’t enter competitions I’m not going to win. Seriously, kids. Go read A Room With A View (or watch the movie, it’s adorable). Watch the televisual oeuvre of a certain Mr Clive James. Read the lyrics to Adam Ants’ Young Parisians (They are so French/They talk nothing but French!).
However, I’ve recently traveled to places that I do want to write about. At length. But I don’t feel I can write about them until I cover what I’ve left untold in here. So, basically, here’s my experience of nine European cities I visited during June, squashed into one sentence. Meaningful observations abound, obviously.
Amsterdam – Amsterdam would be awesome if the ubiquitous tourist crap didn’t make it seem like Van Gogh had vomited sunflowers over the entire metropolitan district.
Rotterdam – In a city of amazing, revitalising architecture, we stayed on a boat that had been converted into a hotel, because we’re perverse, apparently.
Delft – So pretty.
The Hague – I lost my Rough Guide here, and I suspect it was stolen by the local tourist bureau in an effort to stop us from escaping this, erm, city of enigmatic attractions.
Brussels – A tiny statue of a little boy peeing is a garden water feature, not a tourist attraction.
Barcelona – Fabulous lives lived on streets crowded with Gaudi’s awesomeness – I love it more than shoes.
Granada – The Alhambra gave me the chance to imagine being a Moorish princess, which is all I really want out of life.
Malaga – Loved it, because European beachside resorts give Aussies a rare chance to feel superior and be condescending (You have pebbles! How quaint!).
Madrid – Barcelona’s more serious, but still ridiculously beautiful older sister.
OK, so now we’ve got Western Europe out of the way, you can look forward to future blog posts on topics like traveling with lung disease and Auschwitz. Fun stuff like that.